THE HOSPITABLE LEADER

Note: Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Invitation

Sources

“If I can make it there”: Frank Sinatra, vocalist, “Theme from New York, New York,” by John Kander and Fred Ebb, Trilogy: Past Present Future, 1980, Reprise.
“he must enjoy having guests”: 1 Timothy 3:2 New Living Translation.
“practice hospitality”: Romans 12:13.
“offer hospitality to one another without grumbling”: 1 Peter 4:9.
“Do not forget to show hospitality.”: Hebrews 13:2

Chapter 1 The Hospitable Leader

Leadership Take-Homes

Create environments that feel like warm, welcoming feasts. Hospitality provided the pathway for Jesus to advance His mission; to advance ours, we must earnestly embrace His hospitable example.
Create environments where people want to be led, and engage them at the level of their will. It is easier to influence people who have been invited in and welcomed to the table.
Identify the physical, emotional, and relational pathways leading to your goals. When Jesus fed the five thousand, He wasn’t simply providing a meal, but offering an accessible path to the core of His message.

Sources

John 2:11. “What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee”
Matthew 22:2 NIV. Reference: “He described his kingdom as a wedding”
Tim Chester, A Meal with Jesus: Discovering Grace, Community, and Mission around the Table (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011), 12. “The Son of Man came”
Luke 19:10. “to seek and to save the lost”
Mark 10:45 NLT. “to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many”
Luke 7:34. “The son of man came eating and drinking”
Jean Edward Smith, Eisenhower: In War and Peace (New York: Random House, 2012), 216. “We failed to see that the leader”
John 6:24. “realized that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there”
John 6:27. “Do not work for food that spoils”
Howard Schultz, Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul (New York: Rodale, 2011), 34. “The merchant’s success depends on his or her ability”
Schultz, 273, 274. “Ideally, every Starbucks store should tell a story”
Ken Gosnell, “The Secret Leadership Traits—HOSPITABLE,” December 3, 2015, Linkedin.com. “Business owners need to view their business”
Luke 22:8–13. “Jesus sent Peter and John”
John 13:1 NLT, note. “the full extent of his love”
John 13:4–5. “he got up from the meal”
John 13:3. “Jesus knew that the Father had”
John 15:15. “I no longer call you servants”
John 15:16. “I chose you and appointed you”
Jon Meacham, Franklin and Winston: An Intimate Portrait of an Epic Friendship (New York: Random House, 2004), xvii. “A friendship like Roosevelt and Churchill’s”
Meacham, Franklin and Winston, xvii. “C. S. Lewis noted that Emerson once observed”
Acts 2:42, 47. “devoted themselves to teaching”

Chapter 2 The Power of a Warm Heart

Leadership Take-Homes

Embrace the mystery of home. Many people spend their entire lives searching for a sense of belonging. If you offer this, you offer everything.
Create the conditions that warm hearts. Every leadership practice is infinitely more effective when people’s hearts are welcomed.
To offer home we must be at home. True hospitality is achieved not by perfection of place, but in the power of genuine warmth and love. Jesus offers each of us that state called home with and in Him.

Sources

Andrei Kravchuk, dir., The Italian. Film. Russia, Sony Pictures (2005). “Hello, Anton.”
Luke 24:32. “Were not our hearts burning within us”
Julian of Norwich, The Showings of Julian of Norwich, trans. MirabaiStarr (Charlottesville: Hampton, 2013), xxi. “homely” . . . “friendliness”
Doris Kearns Goodwin, The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2005), 168. “win a man to your cause”
Edwin Catmull, Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration (New York: Random House, 2014), x, ix. “mingle, meet and communicate . . . leaves them feeling”
Brené Brown, Daring Greatly (New York: Avery- Imprint Penguin-Random House, 2012), 136. “for me, teaching is about love”
Carl Brister, email communication with Terry Smith, February 19, 2017.
Hazrat Inayat Khan, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/649537-some-people-look-for-a- beautiful-place-others-make-a. “Some people look for a beautiful place”
Leonard Sweet, From Tablet to Table, (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2014), 9–12. “the single most important element in raising kids”
Barry Jones, Life with God: Dwell for the World, (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2014), 176, 180. “When Jesus himself wanted to explain to his disciples”
Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina, (New York: Bantam, 1981), 753. “that everything that is so well arranged”
John 14:2–4, 6 NLT. “There is more than enough room” John 14:18, 20 NLT. “I will not abandon you as orphans”

Chapter 3 Stranger Angels

Leadership Take-Homes

Make the move from Philadelphia to Philoxenia. While it’s relatively easy to care for those we know and like, we are called to love complete strangers, people different from us in any number of ways.
Welcoming the stranger isn’t a nicety—it’s a necessity. To lead a diversity of people with diverse gifts, we must practice the scriptural mandate of welcoming the person who is strange to us.
Hospitality requires a spirit of understanding. To practice hospitable leadership, we must acknowledge that others have experiences and points of view different from our own.

Sources

Hebrews 13:2 NCV. “Remember to welcome strangers”
Hebrews 13:2, “Do not forget to show hospitality”
John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (New York: Harper Collins, 1993. (Reference book: Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus)
Hebrews 13:1–2. “keep on loving each other”
Hebrews 13:2. (Reference: Philoxenia) https://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/kjv/philoxenia.html
Hebrews 13:1. (Reference: Philadelphia) https://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/nas/philadelphia.html
Elizabeth Newman, Untamed Hospitality: Welcoming God and Other Strangers (Grand Rapids: Brazos Press, 2007), 53. “hospitality without a home”
Romans 15:7 MESSAGE. “So reach out and welcome one another”
1 Peter 4:9. “Offer hospitality to one another”
1 Peter 2:17 MESSAGE. “Love your spiritual family”
Hebrews 13:2 NKJV. “entertain strangers”
Hebrews 13:2 ASV. “show love unto strangers”
Matthew 5:16 MESSAGE. “keep an open house”
1 Timothy 3:2. “hospitable”
1 Timothy 3:2 TLB, “enjoy having guests”
Titus 1:8 KJV. “lover of hospitality”
Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life (New York: Doubleday, 1986), 86. “it is possible for men and women”
Leviticus 19:34 NKJV, “The stranger who dwells among you”
Ephesians 2:12–13, 19 NKJV, “at that time you were without Christ”
Matthew 25:35–40, “I was a stranger”
Ralph Gower, The New Manners and Customs of Bible Times (Chicago: MoodyPress ,
1987), 248–249. “during and after the courses of the meal . . . it was possible for local people”
Nouwen, 67. “the term hospitality therefore”
Christine Pohl, Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing, 1999), 85. “the law of hospitality”
Brother Jeremiah as quoted by Alan W. Jones in Soul Making: The Desert Way of Spirituality (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1985), 13. “We always treat”
Genesis 18:2. “looked up and saw three men”
Genesis 18:6–7. “Quick”
Genesis 18:10 NCV. “Then the Lord said”

Chapter 4 Radical Hospitality Produces Revolutionary Results

Leadership Take-Homes

Hospitality is resistance. Hospitable leadership has a radical edge with the potential to produce revolutionary results. Jesus was a radically hospitable leader whose message and methods changed history.
Inclusion multiplies influence. We cannot lead or influence people who are not at our table.
Hospitable leaders create time and space to learn what they do not know. We must learn about one another, and about our experiences, our problems, our ideas.

Sources

Christine Pohl, Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing, 1999), 61. “Christian hospitality has always”
S. Scott Bartchy, Table Fellowship in Dictionary of Jesus and the Gospels (Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 1992), 796. “It would be difficult to overestimate”
Luke 5:30. “But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law”
Luke 7:34. “glutton and a drunkard”
Deuteronomy 21:20. “They shall say to the elders”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, as quoted by Jon Ortberg in Who Is This Man? (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2012), 51. “Jesus gave women human dignity”
N.T. Wright, “Women’s Service in the Church,” http://ntwrightpage.com/2016/07/12/womens-service-in-the-church-the-biblical-basis/. “all forsake Jesus and run away”
Luke 10:38–40. “She had a sister called Mary”
Jon Ortberg, Who Is this Man (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2012), 55. “this radical value of women meant”
Philemon 1–25. (Reference: Philemon)
Galatians 3:28. “There is neither Jew nor Gentile”
Clayborne Carson, The Autobiography of Martin Luther King Jr. (New York: Warner Books, 1998), 320, 143, 144, 236. “He knew that segregation was morally wrong . . . I talked with him over at his house”
Matthew 5:25. “Settle matters quickly with your adversary”
Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out (New York: Doubleday, 1986), 67. (Reference: “we need to move from hostility to hospitality”)

Chapter 5 Head Full of Dreams

Leadership Take-Homes

Hospitable leaders foster environments that encourage dreamers. We must be intentional to cultivate—not to ignore nor crush—the dreams of those we lead.
Hospitable leaders focus on the goals of the organization and on facilitating the dreams of the people who populate it. We do not pursue our dreams at the expense of our followers.
Connect your dreams to God’s dreams. Significance for hospitable leaders and followers comes in discovering and pursuing God’s dreams for us, aligned with His good dreams for the world.

Sources

Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain (Orlando Harcourt, 1948), 69, 70. “was a balky and rather belligerent . . . does he want to be a . . . ‘Nonsense,’ said Mrs. Pearce”
Coldplay, “A Head Full of Dreams” audio, iTunes, Track 1 on Coldplay, A Head Full of Dreams, Parlophone Records Limited, 2015.
John 10:10 NLT. “life in all its fullness”
John 10:22 NLT. “Jesus was in Jerusalem”
Gary M. Burge, NIV Application Commentary on John (Grand Rapids: Zondervan,
2000), 288. “Hanukkah thus became a season”
Ezekiel 34:2–10. “Woe to the shepherds of Israel”
Eric Metaxas, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2010), 141. “misleaders . . . the image of the leader will pass over”
John 10:10–1 MESSAGE. “A thief is only there to steal and kill”
Psalm 23. (Reference: “green pastures and quiet waters”)
Terry A. Smith, Live 10: Jump-Start the Best Version of Your Life (Nashville: Thomas
Nelson, 2013) 144–145. “moral leaders inspire, influence and empower”
Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War (New York: Bantam, 2004), 5. “I was so overcome I could not stay myself”
Richard Daft, The Leadership Experience, 2E (Mason: Thomson, 2002), 441. “Five Types of Leadership—Legitimate Power”
David Brooks, The Road to Character (New York: Random House, 2015), 262. “life is a great moral”
Lazlo Bock, Insights From Inside Google: Work Rules! (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 2015), 34, 38. “leads Google’s people function”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1937), 1. “I am looking for someone to share”
Goldsmith, Marshall. (“Discover One’s Hot Button . . .”) What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There (New York: Hachette, 2007), 31, 32.

Chapter 6 Anything Is Possible in Your Area of Destiny

Leadership Take-Homes

One of the most important roles of the hospitable leader is to help followers identify and operate in their Area of Destiny. Only when someone is living in the intersection of their mission, passion, and gifts can they truly live their best life.
We must help people succeed in their God-destined place in this world. The hospitable leader should continually challenge those they lead to live the life for which they were created.
A hospitable leader is an unselfish leader. We must lead people to expand and grow within our sphere of leadership and from our sphere of leadership.

Sources

Richard Foster, Longing for God: Seven Paths of Christian Devotion (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2009), 246, 247. “the importance of our place”
Oben, Roman, email communication with Terry Smith.
John H. Walton, Genesis: The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001), 72. “ the importance of our place”
2 Corinthians 10:13. “would not boast beyond proper”
Acts 17:26 NCV. “God began by making one person”
Dallas Willard, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2012) 13 . “that we can be solidly in the will”
Os Guinness, The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1998) 46. “the truth is not that God”
Julia Hammond, Post-it note to her father, Russ Hammond. (Reference: “Area of Destiny is about more than vocation.” My friends Jack and Suzy Welch have made a significant contribution to the Area of Destiny concept. See their book The Real Life MBA: Your No-BS Guide to Winning the Game, Building a Team, and Growing Your Career.)
John Cassian, The Conferences (Mahwah: Paulist Press, 1997), 198. (Reference: “that avarice—or greed”)
Augustine, as quoted by Peter Brown in Augustine of Hippo: A Biography (Berkeley and Los Angeles, CA: University of California Press, 2000), 197. “But when you yourself begin to surrender ”
Isak Dinesen, Seven Gothic Tales (New York: Vintage, 1972), 185. “Pisa . . . what does a guest want”
Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out (New York: Doubleday, 1986), 72, 81–84. “the paradox of hospitality . . . our children”
Brown, 197. “pains of longing that stab me”

Chapter 7 Dream Challenge

Leadership Take-Homes

With big dreams comes big resistance. The God who loves us gives us something great to fight for.
Embrace the glory of battle. Hospitable leaders do not make everything easy for their followers, but rather allow them to enjoy struggle and sacrifice and the advancement that follows.
Challenge + Encouragement = Growth. We must offer growth challenges in the language of encouragement and provide a lavish feast of support as those we lead face the difficulties of making dreams reality.

Sources

Winston Churchill, Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat Speech, 1940, May 13, www.winstonchurchill.org/resources/speeches/1940-the-finest-hour/blood-toil-tears-and- sweat-2/ (as prime minister). “I have nothing to offer”
Jon Meacham, Franklin and Winston: Intimate Portrait of an Epic Friendship (New York: Random House, 2004), 14. “Now that it is all over”
Judges 3:1–2 NKJV. “Now these are the nations”
Judges 3:1–2 TLB. “God wanted to give opportunity”
Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain (Wilmington Mariner Books, 1999), 92. “Souls are like athletes”
Steven Pressfield, Tides of War: A Novel of Alcibiades and the Peloponnesian War (New York: Bantam, 2001), 258. “But to those he wished most to esteem”
Edmund Morris, Colonel Roosevelt (New York: Random House, 2010), 267. “We knew toil and hardship and hunger”
1 Timothy 1:3. “Paul begins this letter”
2 Timothy 1:6–7. “For this reason”
W. Nicoll Robertson, et. al. The Expositor’s Greek Testament (New York: Dodd Mead, 1910), 152. “your weak point is a deficiency”
1 Corinthians 4:17. (Reference: faithful son)
Philippians 2:20, 22. “I have no one else”
1 Timothy 1:18–19 NKJV. “This charge I commit to you”
2 Timothy 4:9. “do your best to come to me quickly”
2 Timothy 4:21. “Do your best to get here before winter”
John F. Walvoord and Roy B. Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary: Old Testament (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 1983), 812. “a banquet hall”

Chapter 8 Grace and Truth

Leadership Take-Homes

Promote grace and truth. Hospitable leaders do not shy away from truth but foster a love-infused communicative climate in which truth can be spoken and received.
Hospitable communication places leaders in the role of both host and guest. We are hosts when welcoming others into the communicative space, and we are guests when addressing individuals or groups.
Accentuate areas of common grace. To communicate hospitably, we must find commonalities and listen before, while, and after speaking.

Sources

Rodney Ferris, “How Organizational Love Can Improve Leadership,” Organizational Dynamics, Vol. 16. No. 4. doi.org/10.1016/0090-2616(88)90011-3. “I propose that love”
Ephesians 4:15. (Reference: “truth must be spoken”)
John 1:14. “full of grace”
John 8:32. (Reference: “the truth would set us free”)
Elizabeth Newman, Untamed Hospitality: Welcoming God and other Strangers (Grand Rapids: Brazos Press, 2007), 31. “that Jesus’s inclusivity is not without”
John 8:7. “let anyone of you who”
John 8:11 NKJV. “go and sin no more”
A Few Good Men, directed by Rob Reiner, film (Columbia Pictures, 1992). “you can’t handle the truth”
M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1978), 106. “To fail to confront when confrontation is required”
1 Corinthians 13:6. “love . . . rejoices”
Richard L. Stoppe, Leadership Communication (Cleveland: Pathway Press, 1982), 61. “Communicative Climate”
Leo Buscaglia, Loving Each Other: The Challenge of Human Relationships (Thorofare: SLACK, 1984), 53. “Communication the art of talking”
1 Peter 1:17 CEV. “you must honor God”
Webster’s Dictionary. “communication” comes from the Latin “communis”
Wikipedia. (Reference: “Prime Minister of the Netherlands”)
Jim Belcher, Deep Church: A Third Way Beyond Emerging and Traditional (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2009), 193. (Reference: Abraham Kuyper, “common grace”)
Richard L. Stoppe, Leadership Communication: A Scriptural Perspective (Cleveland: Pathway Press, 1982), 15, 16. “Communicative climate”
Mark 8:18. (Reference: “Jesus said that we can listen”)
Robert McKee, Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and The Principles of Screenwriting (New York: Harper Collins, 1997), 7, 8. “moved by a desire to touch . . . It’s all a writer”
Philippians 2:3 NLT. “be humble, thinking of others”
Eugene, H. Peterson, The Pastor (New York: Harper Collins, 2011), 86, 87. “What is the most important thing”
Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1976), 109. “if you listen carefully”
Richard L. Stoppe, Leadership Communication: A Scriptural Perspective (Cleveland: Pathway Press, 1982), 21. “truth uttered prematurely”
Donald McCullough, Say Please, Say Thank You (New York: G.P. Putnam, 1998), 178. “was walking with a friend”
Colossians 4:5–6. “Be wise in”
Colossians 4:6 NJB. “Talk to them agreeably”
Proverbs 12:25 GNT. “Worry can rob”
Proverbs 15:1. “A gentle answer”
Proverbs 16:21. “gracious words promote instruction”
Proverbs 24:26. “An honest answer”
Proverbs 12:18 GNT. “Thoughtless words can”
Proverbs 27:5. “Better is open”

Chapter 9 People Are Opportunities

Leadership Take-Homes

People are our pleasure, not our problems. Hospitable leaders see people and the gifts they bring through the lens of possibility.
Collaboration is more rewarding than isolation. We are wired to achieve more, and to enjoy achievement more, in unified effort with others.
Hospitable leaders lean into their dependence on those they lead. When we practice the “democratic communication style,” we are more likely to both accomplish the mission and witness the self-actualization of those we we lead.

Sources

Max De Pree, Leadership Jazz: The Essential Elements of a Great Leader (New York: Dell Publishing, 1992), 96. “A leader first makes a personal commitment”
Margaret Wheatley, Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future, expanded edition (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2009), 23. “relationships are all there is”
Romans 14:7. “none of us lives for ourselves”
Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take it! Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball’s Greatest Heroes (New York: Hachette, 2002) 163. “if you don’t go to somebody’s funeral”
Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization (New York: Doubleday, 1994), 4. “Most of us at one time or another have”
Genesis 1:26–31. (Reference: “God created people in his image”)
Daniel James Brown, The Boys in the Boat (New York: Penguin, 2013), 235. “If you don’t like some fellow”
Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (New York: Simon Schuster, 1989), 237. “communication is the most important skill in life”
Richard J. Foster, et al. The Renovaré Spiritual Formation Bible (New York: Harper Collins, 2005), 1. (Reference: “Prayer is communication between a person and God”)
John 21:9, 12. “They saw a fire”
John 21:15. “when they had finished eating”
Genesis 3:9. “where are you?”
Genesis 3:11. “who told you?”
Genesis 3:13. “what is this you are done?”
Tom Hughes, Curious: The Unexpected Power of a Question-Led Life (Colorado Springs: NAVPress, 2015), 5. (Reference: “In the gospel”)
Kelly Leonard and Tom Yorton, Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses “No, But”
Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration—Lessons from The Second City (New York: Harper Collins, 2015), 13, 14. “We celebrate the stars who break out”
Craig E. Johnson and Michael Z. Hackman, Leadership: A Communication Perspective (Long Grove: Waveland Press, 2004), 38, 42. “The leader adopting the Democratic”
Johnson and Hackman, 42. (Reference: “authoritarian leader” . . . “laissez-faire”).
Johnson and Hackman, 44. “Democratic leadership communication contributes”
Marshall Goldsmith, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There (New York: Hachette,
2011), 86. “when you declare your dependence”

Chapter 10 Communication Champion

Leadership Take-Homes

The hospitable leader works to become a communication champion. We must be adept at sending and receiving signals.
To achieve a high-trust environment, leaders must be strong enough to be appropriately vulnerable. We need to extend trust to those we lead, then prove ourselves trustworthy. No one—not even Jesus—is at home with people they do not trust.
Hospitable leaders create the conditions for shalom. We must practice extreme ownership and accept responsibility for the overall climate of our leadership domain.

Sources

Richard Daft, The Leadership Experience, 2E (Mason: Thomson, 2002), 318. (Reference: “Leaders must be communication champions”)
Warren Bennis and Patricia Biederman, Organizing Genius: The Secrets of Creative Collaboration (Reading: Perseus, 1997), 3, 12. “The leader finds greatness”
Daft, 317. (Reference: “Communication can be understood”)
Ephesians 3:17 TLB. “I pray that Christ”
John 2:23–25. “Many people saw”
Dr. Henry Cloud, Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality (New York: Harper Collins, 2006), 77. “To trust”
Stephen M. R. Covey, The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything (New York: Free Press, 2006), 237. “information is shared openly”
Lencioni, Patrick. Getting Naked: A Business Fable about Shedding the Three Fears that Sabotage Client Loyalty (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010), vii. “Without the willingness to be”
Tom Rath and Jim Harter, Well Being: The Five Essential Elements (New York: Gallup Press, 2010), 25. (Reference “most people would rather”)
NYTimes.com. “What Google Learned” article from A. Edmondson. Administrative Science Quarterly. Vol. 44 Issue 2, p 350–383, 1999. “shared belief . . . describes a team”
2 Samuel 13:1. “In the course of time”
2 Samuel 13:14. “and since he was”
2 Samuel 13:20–21. “Her brother Absalom said to her” 2 Samuel 14:1. “knew that the king’s heart”
2 Samuel 14 :13–14. “the king has not brought back”
2 Samuel 14:21, 24. “The king said”
2 Samuel 14:32–33. “Absalom said to Joab”
2 Samuel 18:33. “The king was shaken”
Isaiah 9:7 KJV. “Of the increase of his”\
Cornelius Plantinga Jr., Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing, 1995) (Reference: “Shalom is more than just peace as we often think of it—the absence of conflict”)
Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, Extreme Ownership: How US Navy SEALs Lead and Win (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2015), 30. “On any team, in any organization”
2 Samuel 14:14. “devises ways so that”

Chapter 11 The Usefulness of Beautiful Things

Leadership Take-Homes

Beauty is integral to hospitable communicative environments. Many times, doing a beautiful thing—even an extravagant gesture—is the best way to also do a good and useful thing.
Hospitable communicators are artists who create experiences that convey beauty and stir hearts. We do not just attempt to say something, we work hard to say it artfully, beautifully.
The beauty we must create is not about perfection. Cultivating authenticity in our soul and communicating out of who we really are is beautiful.

Sources

Matthew 26:10–11. “Why are you bothering”
Matthew 26:10. “She has done a beautiful thing”
Matthew 26:10 KJV. “She has done a good work”
Matthew 26:10 NASB. “She has done a good deed”
Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1996), 84. “introduces us to emotions”
Douglas Wilson and Douglas Jones, Angels in the Architecture: A Protestant Vision for Middle Earth (Moscow, ID: Canon Press, 1998), 21. “that every man is almost always led to believe”
C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces (San Diego: Harvest Books, 1980), 74. “to find the place where all the”
John O’Donohue, The Invisible Embrace of Beauty (New York: Harper, 2005), 19, 20. “includes the notion of . . . the heart is the place”
Wilson and Jones, 28, 31. “we would understand”
Wilson and Jones, 25. “Too late came I to love thee”
Psalm 90:17 KJV. “Let the beauty of the Lord”
Daniel H. Pink, A Whole New Mind (New York: Penguin Group, 2005), 79. “we don’t make automobiles”
James Sire, How to Read Slowly (Wheaton: Harold Shaw, 1978), 58. “About the great events”
Elizabeth Kolbert, “Postscript: Mario Cuomo (1932-2015),” The New Yorker, January 2015, www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/postscript-mario-cuomo. (Reference: “a politician should campaign in poetry”)
Seth Godin,, Linchpin (New York: Penguin, 2010), 7. “our society is struggling”
Eugene Peterson, The Pastor (New York: Harper Collins, 2011), 239, 240. “understand the sacred qualities”
Romans 1:19–20. (Reference: “The apostle Paul said that we can get to know God”
Philippians 4:8–9 MESSAGE. “Summing it all up, friends”
Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1996), 148. “words are often the least effective way”
N.T. Wright, Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church (New York: Harper Collins, 2008), 263. “if I could have said it”
Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (New York: Avery, 2012), 136. “art, among all the other tidy things”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment (New York: Vintage, 1992), 206. “her face still kept the remnants”
Psalm 90:17 KJV. “let the beauty of the Lord”

Chapter 12 Enjoy Life

Leadership Take-Homes

Embrace the feast of life. We must allow ourselves to enjoy life in order for our leadership to feel like a feast.
Grace-full leadership trumps law-based leadership. Jesus was a grace-full leader while John the Baptist was a law-based leader. Who would you rather follow? Whose leadership style does yours most resemble?
Enjoying the good and beautiful things in this world does not make us worldly or unserious. Jesus came enjoying life yet did the most important work in history.

Sources

Donald McCullough, Say Please, Say Thank You (New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1998), 57, 58. “of all the wonderful gifts of the creator”
McCullough, Say Please, Say Thank You, 59, 60. “If you prepare a meal for me”
Donald McCullough, The Trivialization of God: The Dangerous Illusion of a Manageable Deity (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1995), 13.
Matthew 11:19. “the Son of Man came eating”
Matthew 11:19 PHILLIPS. “The Son of Man came, enjoying life”
Psalm 85:10 NKJV. “mercy and truth have met together”
Isaiah 25:6–9. “On this mountain the LORD Almighty”
Luke 14:15—23. (Reference: “the kingdom of God is like”)
Barrett, Colleen. “work is either fun”
Lencioni, Patrick. The Advantage (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012), 94. 95. Christianfaithatwork.com. “we’ll miss you”
Proverbs 17:22. “A cheerful heart is good medicine”
Tim Ferriss, The Tim Ferriss Show. “if we are a type A personality”
Matthew 11:19. (Reference: “enjoying life”)
Matthew 11:2–3 NLT. “John the Baptist”
Matthew 11:6 NLT. “God blesses those who are not offended by me”
Matthew 11:17–19 NLT. “We played wedding songs”
Luke 16:16 NLT. “Until John the Baptist”
John 1:35–39. “The next day John was there”
Matthew 9:14–15. “Then John’s disciples came”
Galatians 3:24 KJV. (Reference: “John was a law man . . . The Law is a schoolmaster”).
2 Corinthians 3:6. (Reference: “the letter—kills people”)
Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth. 168. “it is an occupational hazard”
Philip Yancey, What Good is God (New York: FaithWords- Hachette, 2010), 101. “the drippings of grace”
Yancey, 101. “ Lewis saw no need”
Eric Metaxas, Bonhoeffer. 472, 473. “At the heart of Bonhoeffer’s”
Metaxas, 473. (Reference: “While he was in prison his family”)
1 Timothy 6:17. “Command those who are rich”
Deuteronomy 14:26. “Use the silver to buy whatever”
Nehemiah 8:10–12. “Go and enjoy”
Song of Songs 2:4. “let him lead me to the banquet hall”

Chapter 13 Happiness Creates Conditions for Success

Leadership Take-Homes

Happiness creates the conditions for success. Hospitable leaders should strive to be happy and to create an environment conducive to the happiness of those we lead. Happy is God’s state of being, and He invites us to join Him in it.
Find happiness in the scope of creativity. Connecting our action with our God-inspired destiny faciliates peak joy.
Seeing God “happifies.” We can look at God through prayer, Scripture reading, and meditation. Emotions are contagious; as leaders, we want to catch God’s happiness and pass it on.

Sources

Leo Buscaglia, Loving Each Other (Thorofare: SLACK, 1984), 110. “there is no duty”
Matthew 25:21. “Come and share your master’s happiness”
Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God (New York: Harper Collins, 1997), 62. 63. “we should . . . think that”
1 Timothy 1:11 ASV. “blessed God”
1 Timothy 1:11 ABUV from The Bible from 26 Translations (Moss Point, MS: Mathis Publishers, 1993), 2420. “blissful God”
1 Timothy 1:11 EB. “happy God”
Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology (New York: Crown Publishing, 2010), 21. “Happiness leads to success”
Shawn Achor, Positive Intelligence. Harvard Business Review, January-February 2012. (Reference: “happy people in business produce higher profits”)
C.S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. (New York: Ballantine, 2006), 7. “how happy individuals were”
Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage, 205. (Reference: “Emotions—both positive and negative—are contagious”)
Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships (New York: Bantam, 2006), 14. “like secondhand smoke, the leakage of emotions”

Chapter 14 Always Hope for More

Leadership Take-Homes

Practice a disciplined hope. We must relentlessly cultivate our hope in God and good. “The hopes of the godly result in happiness.”
A hopeful environment makes room for faith to be activated. When we exercise faith, God responds by doing things only He can do.
Our world needs hopeful, happy, welcoming leaders who offer a feast for those they lead. Like Jesus’ leadership, ours also can feel like a feast we have prepared for those we lead.

Sources

Dr. Caroline Leaf, Switch On Your Brain (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2013), 19, 35. (Reference: hope is a dopamine”)
Proverbs 10:28 NET. “the hopes of the godly result in”
Dr. Suzanne Segerstom, Breaking Murphy’s Law: How Optimists Get What They Want from Life—and Pessimists Can Too (New York: The Guilford Press, 2006), 1–7. (Reference: “research shows a person who gets up every day with happiness”).
Romans 5:2 NCV. “we are happy because of the hope we have”
Doris Kearns Goodwin, Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2005), 629, 630, 631. “who rushed forward to greet”
Romans 5:2 NCV. “We are happy because of the hope we have”
Dr. Kelly McGonigal, The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It (New York: Avery, Penguin, 2013), 112. “We feel alert, awake, and captivated”
Julia Ward Howe, “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” 1961, public domain. “Mine eyes have seen the glory”
Shawn Achor, The Happiness of Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, 52. “people who just thought about watching their favorite movie”
Romans 8:18–28 NLT (1996). “What we suffer now is nothing compared to”
W. E. Vine, Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, 311. “the happy anticipation of good”
Shawn Achor, The Happiness of Advantage, 44. “chemicals that not only make us feel good . . . think more quickly and creatively”
Søren Kierkegaard, The Journals of Kierkegaard, www.archive.org/details/journalsofkierke002379mbp. “possibility is a hint from God”
Ephesians 1:18. “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened”
Ephesians 1:18 NLT. “I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand”
Shawn Achor, Before Happiness: The 5 Hidden Keys to Achieving Success, Spreading Happiness, and Sustaining Positive Change (New York: Crown Publishing, 2013), 108, 109. “success is not only possible, but now probable”
Hebrews 11:1 NET. “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for”
Romans 4:18. “Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed”
1 Corinthians 16:9. “a great door for effective work.
Alan Loy McGinnis, The Romance Factor (New York: Harper & Row, 1982), 185 “I do not know any way one can stay happily married”
Beca Lewis, Living in Grace: The Shift to Spiritual Perception (Encinitas, CA: Perception, 2002), 129. (Reference: St. Teresa of Avila, “more tears are shed”)
Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan, Act III, www.goodreads.com/quotes/8537-in this- world-there-are-only-two-tragedies-one-is . “in this world there are only two tragedies”
Romans 5:3–5. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings”
1 Peter 3:14. “But even if you should suffer”
1 Peter 3:17. “For it is better, if it is God’s will”
Romans 15:13 NLT. “God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy”

THE HOSPITABLE LEADER

LEADERSHIP TAKE-HOMES & FOOTNOTES

Contents

Invitation

Chapter 1

The Hospitable Leader

Chapter 2

The Power of a Warm Heart

Chapter 3

Stranger Angels

Chapter 4

Radical Hospitality Produces Revolutionary Results

Chapter 5

Head Full of Dreams

Chapter 6

Anything Is Possible in Your Area of Destiny

Chapter 7

Dream Challenge

Chapter 8

Grace and Truth

Chapter 9

People Are Opportunities

Chapter 10

Communication Champion

Chapter 11

The Usefulness of Beautiful Things

Chapter 12

Enjoy Life

Chapter 13

Happiness Creates Conditions for Success

Chapter 14

Always Hope for More